D3 body, D1 cock
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
