i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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