Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
