dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
