Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
