That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
