I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
