Do you still have your period?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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