and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
being pregnant is like rehab
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
