the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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