we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
