Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
