first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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