whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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