Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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