i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
