At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
