he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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