My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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