What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
