good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize