wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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