I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
