Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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