i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
