Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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