Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
