Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It's blow job season.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
