I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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