you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
