I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize