i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
