what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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