Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize