Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
