As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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