That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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