Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
