so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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