dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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