Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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