I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
