I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
