I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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