So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
