I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Randomize
