naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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