lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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