I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
