She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
