He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
