Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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