He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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