Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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