that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
