Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
