You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Blood and glitter go together right?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
