Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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