Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
